Let me apologize before I start.
To everyone who was ready for my traditional wedding with Tito — I’m sorry.
Everyone who was on the line-up — I’m sorry.
I hope the clothes you bought are still fitting.
I’m sincerely sorry and I promise my next wedding will be real. It will be massive.
Tito was my serious fiancé. We were at the last stage of marriage before we broke up. I had his ring, plus access to his documents and accounts. We were set to go.
Tito lived in a 3-bedroom house together with his 9-year-old son. His baby mama was married and gave Tito full custody of his son. She still spent time with her son too.
Initially, we didn’t have a house help. His son and I were used to doing everything on our own. His son is very responsible and you don’t have to remind him to bathe or clean his room. He’s a clever boy. May God bless him.
One day, Tito suggested that we employ a house girl because both of us were employed, and when we ran late, the boy was on his own — which was rare. We were always only minutes apart in arriving home. He also said that I would have more time to rest.
I objected to this decision because I’m used to doing everything on my own. The house didn’t have numerous chores and I’m used to heavy chores because I once worked in a small house which belonged to Madam AP, and the rest were mansions — so his house was nothing compared to what I used to do. I objected, but eventually I let him have his way.
Tito recommended Stella from his village. She had enough praises and had done this job before.
Stella came — and his son never liked her. Tito’s son doesn’t like someone invading his privacy or giving him unnecessary instructions. He also complained that Stella used to murmur insults whenever they were together. His father never acted on this. He kept saying the boy sometimes exaggerates issues to have his way.
Stella was also careless at work and had to be reminded to do something 17 times. I’m very impatient because there’s nothing a house girl can do that I can’t. This is what I kept reminding her. She would be moody, but I would remind her all the same that she was not doing me any favors — because we were okay on our own.
Tito’s son and I clearly didn’t get along with Stella. I gave her so many chances. All along, Tito would defend her and tell us to give her time to adapt, and to try to be friendly, especially the son. The son hated Stella.
Tito’s baby mama and I had very minimal interaction, though I knew her. I had heard that they broke up because of a lady called Stella — but I wasn’t sure because it came from people. Tito claimed the baby mama found a better man and left, and he denied everything concerning infidelity.
Tito’s son told his mother that he couldn’t stand Stella and she should talk to me to dismiss her, because his father couldn’t.
Tito’s mother tried to inquire what was wrong with Stella, and the boy told her that the maid was disrespectful to him and would quietly utter insults whenever they were together.
The mother called me and we met. She’s a very mature woman. May God bless her. Out of curiosity, she asked for Stella’s other names because her grandson gave her a description of someone she might know. I told her Stella’s second and third names — and she appeared disturbed.
The baby mama opened up and told me that she left Tito because of Stella. Tito was cheating on her with Stella. I was shocked. That’s when I understood why Tito kept defending her whenever I threatened to let her go. Stella clearly hated the son because she knew his mother.
I confronted Tito, and he still defended Stella by saying he had cut off all ties with her, and he employed her out of pity. I asked him why he never told me about her, and why he always defended her even when his son was complaining — and he didn’t have an answer. I thought — if a man can ignore his own son because of an ex, then it means they’re still secretly dating.
Since I was already tired of Tito, I cancelled that traditional wedding and we broke up. There are things I don’t forgive. If someone can ignore his son because of a side chick, he can ignore me too — because I never gave birth with him.
Stella was there when the baby mama left — she was never elevated to wife. I came in — and she was still the side chick. I left — and she was still not elevated. The only one who stole Tito’s heart is his American wife who is 12 years older than him.
I think Stella was meant to be a side chick all her life.