“How are your friends comfortable around you knowing that you can write about them?”
I’ve received this question a million times from strangers. But let me answer with a question: “Do you shrink around your friends to make them comfortable?”
Honestly, if you shrink around your friends to make them comfortable, they aren’t your friends.
Now, let me answer the question.
I have friends — very good friends for that matter. And we talk about everything. We talk for hours until we feel the burden has been eased.
We talk about our jobs.
We talk about our parents.
We talk about our past — the kind of past that should probably be hidden.
We talk about our plans.
We talk about our relationships.
We talk about everything, anytime.
One thing about me is that I hate people who don’t talk. I hate people who think the world is thinking about them and waiting to judge them. I hate people who think I should pause my life to imagine they’re suffering and then intervene.
If you can’t talk, walk with people like you. Don’t come near me and stress me. Life is already hard — you either talk or look for friends like you.
Another thing I loathe are complainers and people who always wish others evil. Mbu “my baby daddy will suffer” or “my relatives will suffer.” You start complaining — that’s the last you’ll hear from me.
In our group, we look for solutions. We don’t curse or call people names. Cursing won’t help you pay bills. Cursing won’t elevate your career. Cursing won’t make you lose that extra belly fat. We hate bitter people.
This applies to social media too — I hate complainers. People who complain about men and baby daddies 24/7 get a clean block from me. I block you whether I followed you or not. There are chronic complainers out there, and they get on my nerves badly.
So yes, I have friends — healed versions of people. We take lemons, discuss the sugar or honey we need to make sweet lemonade, and move on with life. No complaints, no curses.
You see why I never have time to lecture people who talk about single parents? Because your opinion on what others should do doesn’t matter to me. You talk about such topics, you’ll wait for my response forever. I will never engage you, no matter what names you choose to call them. This topic is extremely irrelevant to me.
I have friends and we love each other to bits.